Carol's Place

~ food for thought ~

carolbateman — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 03:23:43 +0000

Both my Mom and her Mom — my granny – were good cooks. I followed in their footsteps. Because it was important to me. Family dinners every night and Sunday meals with the family were important. It was not a option, it was a way of life. My mom taught me how to cook. She was a nurse and worked odd hours, so I was in charge of fixing the meals for the family when she could not. My mom took the time to tell me about the little things that made our meals “special”…! I have many recipes that I still make till this day, and love to share the meals. Food does bring comfort. Comfort for the maker and comfort for the receipient. Whether you are sick, depressed, or whatever your situation, a home-cooked meal fixes it…!

For me, I have no greater joy than fixing a meal that can be enjoyed by many. I’ve been known to put together 5 trays of Lasagne at one time to share with special people. Something so simple as a meal for someone in need can go a really long way.

My close peeps know what my dream is………! And it does revolve around cooking…! But I will continue to rely on God…and see what Happens..!

Otherwise — Happy Cooking…!

~ fresh start ~

carolbateman — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 03:33:02 +0000

I’ve had the mind-set that the first day of school – Aug 25 – is gonna be my “new year”. Kate settled in boarding school, Kyle settling into 7th grade at a brand new school. Wow – the last 12 months has been a whirlwind for me and my family. Most everyone knows the details, so I won’t drudge in the past. Because it is time to move on. To put the past the behind, to forgive, to hope, and to dream. No matter what I’ve been through, I know that I am blessed beyond my means. I’m blessed to have a God that loves me unconditionally no matter what. To have a husband and son that know I’m on the ‘way back up’..! To have a relationship with my brother like we’ve never had. To have a “daughter” in Kate, whom I will always love as such. To have true friends that have stood by our family thru all of this. To have a church family that never ceases their prayers for our family.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know that God is in control. As the George Strait song goes — “It’s not about the breaths you take, it about the moments that take your breath away”.

And finally — how sweet it was to hear my dear husband say tonite “It’s Good To See Your Smile Back”…!

~ here, and gone, almost ~

carolbateman — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 04:11:46 +0000

Summer in the south. Gotta love it —- hot, humid, afternoon showers. I’m certain it would be ALOT less bearable without central air and a pool. Both of which we are blessed to have.

This year, however, I really don’t feel like I’ve had much of a summer. Its been a whirlwind to me. Most of June was dealing with Kate running away, and everything that went along that. July – who knows where that went. Truly, everything seems like a blur. We’ve enjoyed time away at the lake, the beach, etc, but all the weeks and weekends have run together for me. And now its the end of July and school starts back in less than a month.

After pouring a year into Kate, and dealing with the after-effects of her running away, I was in need of a much needed emotional and mental break from my job. I have a great job, but it can be stressful at times, and job stress was the last thing I needed this summer. So with Lonnie’s support, I opted to take a leave of absence under FMLA. I’ll go back to work on August 16th, and the 8-week leave has done me some real good. Maybe too good, because I honestly think I can keep myself busy with house, kids, pets, church, volunteering without throwing in a full-time job, but that is wishful thinking at this point.

School starts on 8/25 – and I’m kinda looking at that as a new beginning for me….my new year. By then, Kate will be settled in a residential boarding school. I have prayed about and decided to take on some new volunteer responsibilities at church and at Kyle’s new middle school, as well. Last year – with so much change, and so much going on – I pretty much stepped back from everything. But God is working in my life, and I’m ready for my “new year”.

This past weekend, I learned alot about God’s grace and 2nd chances. Without alot of details, I was with a friend who was badly injured and I know it could have been ALOT worse. ( And, I know now why I was not called to my Mom’s calling to be a nurse, but I was able to keep my cool and pull the situation together calmly.) God was not only speaking to my friend, but to me too. Time to put the past behind, and start doing what God has created us for. We all have a purpose. As Travis said tonite to our Youth ~ I’m ready to “get off the bench and put my faith into action, and rest on the fact that my life is completely led by God”.

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Romans 8:31

~ my sunshine ~

carolbateman — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 02:54:10 +0000

Kate, Katie, Kaitlin, Kaitlin Mary all are names she has been called thru the years and now, according to “Kate”, she wants to be referred to as “Kate”. That’s easy for her NC family because she “branded” herself as Kate when she moved here last August. But to her dad, and her mom’s family and her PA friends, she will still be Katie.

Gosh, we’ve been a whirlwind the past few weeks with Kate. She is a little girl lost in a great big world. And, as she feels/felt – the world was hers to just go and enjoy. We are not sure how long that would have lasted and we thank God it was not long. Did she want to be found — NO. Did she intend to sick around after she was found — NO.

But Kate is in a good place now – getting the help she needs to deal with all the crap that life has put upon her in her young years. I really do feel that ALL the prayers were answered when we found her late in the night on the strip in Myrtle Beach on June 16th. God definately had a hand in that, and it you don’t believe that, just talk to the police, like we did, in knowing how many girls go missing every year. She was meant to be found, and Kate has a calling and a purpose, and she is gonna shine bright.

Special thanks to everyone that prayed for Kate to be found, and for everyone that continues to pray for her — and for our family.

~ kate ~ katie ~ kaitlin ~ kaitlin mary ~

carolbateman — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 06:38:46 +0000

Have you seen me, because I’m missing, and my family is worried sick literally? People know where I’m at ~ but friends won’t give friends up. They don’t want to get in trouble, and it just seems like these days — nobody really cares..! I’m out there somewhere. Who knows what I’m doing, what I’ve drank, what I’ve smoked. Maybe I’m passed out somewhere — in a hotel room, in an alley, in a hospital with no ID. But someone has seen me. I’ll just shut out that I have a dad, 3 aunts, 1 uncle, grandparents, friends, cousins and a church family that has supported me and loved me, even though I don’t give any them the time of day. What’s wrong with me — I’ve got it all. Unconditional love. Acceptance. Second Chances — who gets many of those? So what’s next? Where do I go from here..!

Maybe there are an army of volunteers ready to leave H’burg in the morning to try to find me. My NC aunt and 2nd Mom sitting at her computer at 2am crying wondering if I’m dead. An Uncle that has tried his best to be a good male role model for me — on the verge of physical exhaustion. A sweet, loving, compassionate cousin in Kyle – what to say to my 12-year-old little bro —- certainly don’t follow my path. My Dad in PA — puking, and thinking somewhere in the back of his mind — I’ve already buried my wife….I can’t bury my daughter. My “NC Dad – Tony”, who spent more hours looking for me today and reaching out to me over the past few months then he has gotten to spend with his own girls — that’s not fair. My moms 2 sisters – Christine and Renee – whom I treat horribly – for they reach out to me EVERYDAY and I don’t give them the TIME OF DAY. My poor, sweet grandparents — how terrible for them to have lost their precious daughter — and I won’t even talk to them, knowing my grandma cries herself to sleep every night. What about all the NC families that have adopted me and accepted me and loved me unconditionally – Beavers, Micheltrees, Peeles, Lymans, Lucas’, Bush’, Britts, Bagleys, Percys, Heagys, Crowells, Wohlfarths, and I’m sure many others~~ maybe if I actually accepted your love, I would not be “lost” — because that’s where I am — LOST.

What about Mom? Dammit – you died. NOT FAIR. In my own way, I hate you for abandoning me. Leaving me when I needed you the most. So what do you think of me now? Looking down and crying for sure. You just wanted the best for me, I know. And I have let you down. Please forgive me.

What about God? Carol and Lonnie and Kyle love God. That’s evident. They have tried in alot of ways to guide me. I’ve blown them off. I’ve blown off church and God and Jesus – the most important things they have going for them. Do I know why? I guess not. Did I give it at least a chance – NOPE.

Where am I ~~ Who am I ~~ What is my Story ?? I would hope that there is still alot of story to write….God Willing.

((disclaimer — written in the Kate point of view by aunt carol))

~ small town…Harrisburg, NC ~

carolbateman — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 03:32:01 +0000

I don’t know what inspired me to write about my hometown tonite — probably just the fact that I love Harrisburg, NC. H’burg is a “small town” by all regards, but we border Charlotte and the Concord Mills/Speedway area, so we have every convenience available to us. But if Harrisburg was tucked away somewhere in a non-populated part of NC, we would so be “small town” for real. I know a few natives, but most have moved here from Charlotte, or relocated here from other states. What’s the draw? Small-town feel, location to amenities and jobs, great schools, nice neighborhoods. H’burg now has it’s own High School, and our new middle school is opening in August, and most everyone here takes alot of pride in our schools, our students, our athletes, our scholars. We have lots of community events, especially for children, which makes our town very family friendly. Not a whole lot happens here as far as news is concerned, and when it does, we are concerned neighbors and friends, not gossips. I was really touched tonite when passing by the Stallings Glen neighborhood. A family in this neighborhood lost a son, husband, brother and friend last week - Christopher Barton – killed in action in Afghanistan. When you drive by the subdivision, it is completely lined with small american flags, mailboxes with ribbons. Candlelight vigils, flags at half staff, pre-race honors at the Coca-Cola 600. This is what small town means. A town rallying around a family that suffers great loss. A town that has lost a hero. A town that cries with a family whether we know them, or not. This is why I’m proud to call Harrisburg home.

If you know me, you know that…..

carolbateman — Tue, 25 May 2010 05:31:02 +0000

I love God, and I publicly professed my faith in August of 2008
I love my husband and my soulmate of 21 years
I have a great son who is gonna do great things, and his heart is all about loving Jesus, and I really love that
I have an awesome “daughter/niece” in Kate that I love to pieces
I miss my Mom and Dad, and I watched them both take their last breathes in this world
My mother-in-law was like a mom to Me, and I miss her dearly
Rocky River Church is an awesome church with awesome people
My Rock Group rocks — past and present — and y’all have been thru alot with us, and I could not do ‘life’ without you
I have the best friends ever — u know who u are
I love to volunteer – church, school, community – call me, and I’m there
I hate to wait on service in restaurants
I’m deathly afraid of heights and spiders
I have no problem with holding Kyle’s pet snake, Kudzu
I love teaching Sunday School to my K-5 kids
My dogs really drive me nuts
I have a GREAT job – 15 year @ NextGen Healthcare
I love football & I understand it
Mowing the lawn is great therapy for me
Stupid drivers and those that don’t use signals make me mad
Most of time, I think ‘guys’ are better listeners — and I have a couple of guy friends that mean the world to me
I think I’m Kenny Chesney’s # 1 fan
I love celery, cottage cheese and tuna fish on rice cakes
my niece Jen is awesome and she’s a a great Mom
one of the most difficult days in my life was saying goodbye to Denise (Nisey)
lots of times I feel like I let people down
I miss you, Lynnie — you will always be one of my BFF’s
I love Harrisburg, NC, and my little house, and this great little community I live in
my Honda S2000 was way cooler than my Honda Odyssey, but we needed to be practical
Bubbles in hot tubs go to my head
I’m super organized, and have lists for everything
I’m not a saver – if I dont need/wont use it —- Trash
i have to make the bed — usually first thing – but our bed will NEVER be unmade — pet peeve
I HATE unloading the dishwasher….Ughh.. Not sure whuy?
I love to fish — and have no problem putting the worms on the hook.
I used to be a good skier ~ have not gone in years.
I love summertime in the South – hot nights, pool, lightening bugs
Ive visted half the states in this country when I was working as a trainer
I played guitar in the kids’ worship band in the catholic church I grew up in in NJ

Mother’s Day and stuff ~~

carolbateman — Sun, 09 May 2010 00:54:35 +0000

Most of you who know me, know that I’m not a big fan of Mother’s Day. For the past 11 years, I’ve mourned my Mom on Mother’s Day, for the past 4 years I’ve mourned my Mother-in-Law, and for the last two – my sweet sister-in-law, Denise – who never wanted anything more than to be a great mom to Katie. So, personally, I don’t have alot to celebrate. No flowers or cards to send, no fancy brunches, no time to catch up on the latest family happenings. Am I a tad bitter – of course I am. Three of the most important women in my life are no longer here and that sucks.

But, there is also much to love and cherish about the legacy these ladies leave behind. All three were compassionate, loving and giving. Giving, probably being their strongest attribute – always putting others before themselves.

My heart breaks for Kate – her 2nd mother’s day without a mom, and she’s just 16. The most important influence in her life who will not be there for proms, graduation, college, wedding, babies. I received a beautiful Edible Arrangement from kate yesterday for mother’s day – and the card said “thanks for being a great mom to me this year – I love you”. I cried – happiness and sadness — happy that I can step into her life and try to be a mom-like figure to her,,,and just sad for all of us that miss Nisey so much.

My heart breaks for Kyle, too. He lost both his grandmas at such a young age and no one can replace them.. Of course, he has a wonderful, new “step grandma” in Nelia. I was so very blessed to have such awesome grandparents that provided me so many wonderful memories during my childhood, and just wish he had the same opportunity.

I’m blessed to have Kyle and Kate in my life, and I know that they love me and want to celebrate Mother’s Day for me. But, I’ve never been big on recognizing me. I would rather put my love, time, energy and efforts into others. I was talking to a dear friend a couple of nights ago, and pondering with him what my ‘purpose’ was. He said “I think you already know the answer to that — you care deeply for people, and those people genuinely know that you love them. You have the gift of caring.” I truly appreciate his insight – because I know his words were from the heart.

I’ll probably cry in church tomorrow – because they’ll be some worship songs that will make me yearn to have these ladies who are gone by my side. But I am sooo very thankful for some AMAZING moms that I am doing life with these days. I could not imagine my life without you all. Each of you have your own unique qualities and gifts, and I am truly blessed to be walking with you.

Happy Mom’s Day to all the strong, loving, hard-working Moms I know…!

2 Timothy 1:5 – I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother and your mother and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

~ thursday thoughts ~

carolbateman — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 19:58:03 +0000

Wow, it’s been a while since I posted anything…but here are some random thoughts to get out of my head today…..

For the most part, the cruise was GREAT. Wonderful fellowship time with dear friends. That was worth it.
Daily life with a teenager continues to be challenging. Some days, I really don’t know how I am going to get to the next day. But I do – mostly by the grace of God.
I thought this whole experience of raising my niece would make me stronger, but sometimes (well, most of the time) I feel its made me weaker. I know most of you would have to disagree, because you have already told me this – - but I’ve been struggling the past few weeks. Right now, I feel like I’m just out of air. This, too, shall pass.
My heart is so heavy right now for two of my dearest friends who are going through some major stuff. I can’t fix you or take away your hurts or your problems, but know that I will always be there for you.
I am so ready to see that “light” at the end of the tunnel, but I know that many more tunnels await.
This “one day at a time” saying has never been more true for me.
If you do not have a close circle of friends to be doing life with, I feel sorry for you.
I’m in awe of my good friend, Julie. She donated one of her kidneys to save the life of a man she works with. WOW ~ that is so awesome. Could you do that?
I’m really looking forward to Spring Break. Kate is going home to PA to visit her Dad, and Lonnie and Kyle are going on a youth retreat with our church to Myrtle Beach. I REALLY need some ‘rest’ time for me.
I’ve sorta given up Facebook for a while. I check in from time to time, but it was becoming too much of a distraction for me during the day, and felt it best to just ‘cut the chord’ for a while.
Really looking forward to heading back to the cabin. I’ve only been once since January — that is really sad. Hoping we can get the boat in the water on our next visit. There is nothing more relaxing and peaceful then spending a day on the lake.
I need to find some motivation to get back to the gym. I was so faithful for a while – and now it’s just another chore.
Have not been very faithful to my wonderful RRC Ladies Bible Study Group ~ I guess I’m still too much of a “Martha”…!
Well, I gotta run ~~ Kate just told me what she wants to be when she “grows up” and I need to go knock some sense into her ~ LOL.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

~ rambling on and on and on ~

carolbateman — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:06:13 +0000

Not sure why I’ve turned into such a night owl. Maybe its because its the only time that the house is peaceful, and i really enjoy this time of day these days. No dogs, no drama, no cell phones ringing. I have to say the last few weeks have been really difficult. Never knowing when the next shoe is gonna drop, and feeling blindsided ALOT. Last July, a friend said “this is gonna be the hardest thing you will ever do”. Man, he was more than right. I really had no clue what I was getting into ~~ instant teenage girl, with ALOT of baggage. Lately, we have had more bad days than good days…..that’s no fun, really. And everyday I wonder — is this just normal teenage stuff?? In my opinion, I think NOT. I was a good kid, and never put my parents thru any sh@#. I see some of the most awesome kids in our youth ministry who are setting examples and serving as leaders to other youth. Lonnie and I have tried to so hard to be such good role models for the kids in our life, and we can’t even touch the one that lives under our own roof. After getting beaten and lied to so much, after a while, you really do start feeling like a failure. Feeling like it’s time to pull the plug on this mess and throw in the towel. Why are we doing this if we are getting NO WHERE and not making a Difference…..?????!!!! We are sacrificing our lives, and our sanity, and the well-being of a REALLY AWESOME kid named Kyle. Kyle is a great kid and continues to be the light in this family — thank God. I could write a book about the stuff that this kid says and does that are amazing, but for those of you who know him – you Know.

So I struggle with this — when is enough, enough? But you know what? Enough will never be enough. Our pastor preached this BIG TIME yesterday. Jesus Christ died a horrendous death for each of us. He laid down his beloved life for each and every one of us. And that is what I have to reflect on. That is what will get me through this time. That I just have to continue to let God’s light shine thru me…..keep plugging away…..wipe away the tears….dispell the pity….show her the light and maybe she will see it one day. That is my hope. Lonnie said tonite —- “one day — she is gonna thank us”…! Lord, I hope and pray that is the truth.

I’ve always been pretty good at most things I do, and I’m so organized. But lately, I just feel like a candle in the wind. I’ve been disorganized and mindless. I’ve had to apologize to my friends for not being a good friend and for being so self-centered on our problems here at home. But my friends love us ~ and our Life Group supports everything we do. They continue to love us no MATTER what. They really humble me sometimes, and we are so blessed for such a wonderful support system. (PEOPLE: if you don’t have a Life Group/Rock Group/Small Group – you need one, because you cannot do life alone…! )

Lonnie ~ sometimes I feel so sorry that “this mess” is happening. I don’t think I would be as willing, able, forgiving, loving and patient if this were your side of the family. But you continue to amaze me, and really keep me going on this journey. The ‘right words’ always seem to come out of you, and that amazes me too.

Kyle – you are an awesome little brother to Kate, and I know how much you love her. You are wise beyond your years, and I know that Kate is thankful for you in her life.

Tony, Barb & Madison – You all have been there in the ‘thick’ of all this crap with us since day 1. Thru the good, the bad and the ugly. Lots of tears, smiles, laughter, anger, hope..! Not sure if you will ever really know how much it has meant to us. And, I think, like Lonnie said — one day — she will be thanking y’all, as well.

I guess I just needed to get all this out of my head tonite. I want to be happy more, and worried less. I want to be able to go on our family cruise vacation and not have to walk on eggshells. I just want the best for a girl that I love with all of my heart..!

And lately, more than anything – I’m really missing my Mom. Because I know if she were around, that would be all the comfort I would need, because she always had the right words to say. She loved Kate dearly. Maybe all this would break her heart, too. Just like it is breaking the hearts of Kate’s grandparents and aunts, uncles and cousins on Nisey’s side. Broken hearts everywhere from one troubled girl. But I’ve pleaded with those loved ones to not give up …… SHE IS WORTH THE FIGHT, NO MATTER HOW HARD THE ROAD IS…!

Matthew 17:20: “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible. ”